Need a good beach wagon/cart that’s good in the sand and won’t make me look like a flailing doofus.

I have twin boys, and we never did a wagon. We got a second-hand fancy jogging stroller and it performed decently on beaches and could also be used everywhere else. In fact we really only ever used the jogging stroller anywhere, we had a “city” stroller but never used it because the jogger could go anywhere.